The Scene: Interior, dining room, night. Three CHILDREN are eating dinner. Their FATHER is in the kitchen nearby, performing various cleaning tasks. Their MOTHER (me) has just taken their baby SISTER to her room to ready her for bed. The MOTHER can be heard returning to the dining room area as the scene opens.
ALEX: Patrick, what are you doing?
PATRICK: (rubbing cucumber slice over the dining room table) Cleaning.
ALEX: Please don’t clean with the cucumber slices
Brief pause while PATRICK eats a chicken nugget. MOTHER enters the room and sees PATRICK, now with a banana in his hand.
ME: Patrick, please—we don’t clean the dining room table with a banana.
PARENTS exchange a glance, rolling their eyes at one another.
I must have spent 15 minutes scrubbing dried banana crud off my dining room table last night.